Thoughts on Newtown, Connecticut tonight…

I get personal on this page—up to a point–but not too terribly personal. It’s how I am built.  I hold a lot inside until something totally rocks my world. Today’s tragedy in Connecticut totally rocked my world. I am an extremely sensitive person who puts on a good, tough, front. Today, I have not stopped crying. I also do a very good job of pretending not to be too awfully political. I am the mother of seven glorious children, one who is only 8 years old. They are all alive and safe at this moment. Thank you God.  Seriously.  Thank you so much!  They have lock down drills at my son’s school, even in this tiny little town in Maine.  What in the world?

Courtesy of Vee Warren and Quiet Retreat.

Courtesy of Vee Warren and Quiet Retreat.

My heart is broken for the families of all of those tiny children….those lost, and those who will live with the memory of terror for a lifetime, and for all of the families involved. I have so many friends who are teachers….so many. Those teachers in Connecticut were heroes today.  One lost her life shielding her class.  She was 27 years old.   I know that all of my teacher friends are heroes every day.  Schools are a battleground these days.  Are we all thanking our teachers each and every day?
My oldest daughter is a school guidance counselor in Maryland.  The school guidance counselors in Connecticut have a horrible task ahead of them that is part of the job. I think about my daughter and wonder just how crushing to her psyche being on a crisis team for something like this would be. I know her, tender spirit that she is.  She would be torn apart, yet on the other hand, she would probably surprise the hell out of me with her strength.  My kids all amaze me every day.  No, she would pay a high price for such strength.  I know that with all of my heart.
At the same time, I was the mother getting the crisis emails when a shooting took place at one of my son’s colleges. I have been the mother on the other end of the phone listening to her terrified child tell her that he and his friends were fleeing until it was safe. I have been the mother—I am the mother—of a child who lost a friend to a shooter, and who graduated college three weeks later with pall of it all hanging over the ceremony.
While we all take time to grieve, we also need to ask what we need to do as parents and human beings. Are we finding ways to support parents who are clearly lost in the job that they are doing, or are too young to do the job without the help of a committed mentor?  Two days ago, a child in my little boy’s class threatened to have his father come over to our house, break in, and gun us down. This is an ongoing issue—this little boy and his rampant bullying. The school does all that they can.  Without help on the home front, what more can they do?
What are we doing as a society to stop adult bullies, or those using the internet to stalk and harass others, or to help those in domestic violence situations, or those people with mental health issues? The answer does not lie with the government….not all of it.
The answer lies within us. The answer is love. The answer is always love and reaching out and paying attention and offering help even to those who offend us–within reason.   The answer is not turning a blind eye, judging, blaming, or walking away. If my thoughts offend anyone, well, they are my thoughts on this sad night.  Reach out.  Be safe and trust your gut, but reach out in love.

26 thoughts on “Thoughts on Newtown, Connecticut tonight…

  1. Pingback: Thoughts on Newtown, Connecticut tonight… | Natural Beauty and Skin Care Made Easy

  2. Your post is kind and compassionate, and thank you for sharing. I would also suggest that it is about time this country took back its streets and its schools and churches, its movie theaters and malls, and once and for all put a stop to all the gun madness in this country. The NRA and the congress members they have purchased need to be put out of business. Rest assured, sometime in the very near future, some NRA spokesman is going to say that if the teacher were armed, they could have prevented this. Think about it, just want I want to hear, the NRA advocating an open gun battle in a kindergarten class room.

    Thanks again for the warm perspective. I think this country needs both.


    • Barney, after the NRA’s speech yesterday, I am not feeling warm and fuzzy towards them. You predicted it with 100% accuracy and it makes me sick to the core of my soul. Teachers with guns? Oh no! If that comes to pass, I will hone school!

  3. Reach out with love, pay it forward, always do the right thing and pray. It is ultimately out of our hands besides these few things that we can do. ❤

    • Christina, you are right. That is all that we can do! Safety is an illusion. I think I wrote a blog post about that, and should go refresh my memory! Pray…pray..pray! Xoxoxo

  4. OMG I can’t tell you how sad I was hearing about the shooting of those children and teachers. That is so awful I just don’t know how it happens. It’s dreadful your son is having to face bullying too. It must have been scary for you and your son to deal with that. All of the violence seems so senseless to me. I wish for more love too so we can be kinder to each other.

    • Sonamsangmu, it was and remains tragic. My son’s bully bullies everyone and has since first grade. His threats are awful, but he doesn’t scare me/us. I know that his home life is lacking in some very important way, so I do worry for his future. He’s just 7 years old!

      • Wow, only 7 and already so in need of some type of therapeutic intervention. That’s really sad. Think how much abuse or conflict he must have endured to be a bully on such a scale. That child needs help.

  5. I am on holiday right now but sat in my hotel shaking like a leaf and in tears. My poor husband sat stunned next to me shaking his head and periodically patting me on the back. This was beautifully done, kind and compassionate, loving. Thank you.

    • Souldipper, I am a sap through and through, but crying for this sort of tragedy does not make we tender hearted folks sappy. I pray for love to fill the world every day. Every day, I pray for that, and for those parents, and teachers, and first responders….and on and on….

  6. This is a beautiful message, and thank you for that. It is so easy to try and find a reason or something to blame at a time like this, but I think you’re spot on that it is up to all of us to be the change that we want to see. To help those that need it, and to find help for those we cannot help ourselves. Life is full of tragedies, it always has been. But we are capable of amazing things, and we should merit to use our abilities to help promote peace. With love.

    • Rivki, as a society, we feel that we must find reasons. We need so much to pin the blame on someone. If we can blame someone…his mother, or his illness…then we can feel better, right? No. His mother was a victim and yet she is not counted. We have no idea of her pain in parenting such a child, and we do not want to know…that makes it easier for us, somehow. Life is full of tragedies, and it will continue to be. Filling hearts with hate won’t change anything, so I go back to love…it IS always love! Xoxo

    • Denise, I agree that there are so many factors involved. I want to get mad at the mother for knowing her son was somehow damaged, but for having weapons in the house, and yet I cannot. She was a victim no one counts. She had to live with the terror of raising him…she was trying to commit him. Did anyone help her? How alone she must have felt! This is such a tough one, isn’t it?

      • It’s so easy to judge when we don’t know everything. So easy to apply our life situation to theirs and think we know what went wrong. Your compassion is clearly evident when you ask ‘what about his mom?’ I wonder, too, about the brother who was wrongly accused. How will he fare in the long run?
        You are right in saying the answer is love, not hate. It seems there is much disagreement in the world about what love is, though… ;-(

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