This is the single best description of a sociopath, and how he operates, that I have ever seen. It did more than resonate with me. It sunk right into my soul. The accuracy of the description of frightening…the abuse, so covert and insidious.

Consistent Uncertainties

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  1. Yes, this IS scary …. while no one I know or used to know fits ALL of the criteria, I did know someone who fit many of these characteristics, especially this one: “Skilled at creating conflict, they can often cause rifts between individuals who might jointly figure things out.” (I’m still watching, and I’m sure that I will spot more familiar traits.)

    • The constant lying, or more to the point, withholding of part of the truth to shape your view of them is a hallmark trait. Lying is like breathing to them. It took me years…over 10…to get to the real truth—as much of it as I will ever have, or care to have. The one thing that is missing is their ability to portray the victim to the hilt. “I am such a good, nice, hardworking, person, and yet I the world just keeps screwing me over.” That is their best way of entering into a relationship…they lie to distort and control our view of them and yet we feel sorry for them—like has given them such a bad time. We must fix that, right? No, we must run.

      • This is all so true. Although the person I’m thinking about wasn’t 100% this way, there was more than enough of this about him to make this description very painfully familiar. (He sometimes accused himself of being a sociopath just so that I would argue that he wasn’t.) I’d like to say that I broke free and achieved some distance on my own, because I thought that I had. I really thought that I was free. Then this person took himself out, and I discovered that I was still bound to him in so many ways, and that I had only been deceiving myself.
        Anyway, thank you for posting this. I needed to see and think about this tonight.

      • You are 100% correct, that IS missing from the video. Can’t believe I forgot that!! It is, in essence, their credo! After all, it’s how, as you said, they attract and get their future victims fully invested in them. Lock,stock and barrel! You’ve got the running part right as well, but do we run? No we do, as good people are taught, to be compassionate and try to help. Our helpfulness gets us smack-dab where the perp wants us. It’s tough to suggest that we must live our lives suspicious of others and their objectives, but it does prove to be important and prudent to move with caution around people that we don’t know. It’s a double-edged sword, because we truly don’t know the sociopath until we are actually caught up with one. On the positive side, if we can distance ourselves from them at that point, we can get our feet back under us!

  2. Mine was different, above average intelligence, and dealing with another like and working in the field of psychology, to hide the tendency I suspect. “You are strong” he said, and he figured out how to charm me in the most peculiar way……….through it. I’m not yet convinced it is sociopathy, or mental illness.

    • Andrea, I suspect you are 100% right. Mine told me, “I say because I can see the person you could be.” When I became that person—strong enough to see through him–I became someone to be punished. I was a threat and it was all my fault that I figured him out.

  3. Charming! The best description of the sociopath that runs around getting people to believe and listen to him. Threat – that would be me, the one who sees thru the facade and has for a lifetime. I see so many family/friends play right into his hands, even though they know how he is. Such a charismatic personality that works on everyone but me. Thank you for finding and sharing this easy to understand and enlightening video. You find some great things and, although I do not usually comment, this one was a necessity. There is danger lurking around in most people you meet or have known for a lifetime. We all need to be aware of ‘the truth’ in some things. Thanks for sharing, Ms Lady!!!

    • Thank you, Sherri! Many do not want to see the truth, especially if they are the current victim. They cannot see the truth anymore than I could at the start. Predators know how to do one thing and that is who to prey on others through manipulations and lies and sob stories. I know that the current prey of my ex will find out. However, she may be as disordered as he is, so I am not quite sure how that will work out, but she has kids and a grandchild and I fear for them…all of them.

  4. Knew two, knew them intimately. Married both of them, 15 years apart. They were completely different people. Absolutely different in their behavior which is why I didn’t recognize the second one for years. One, the first was physical and nearly killed me the other was simply sneaky and terrible.

    This is a wonderful video. Thank you for posting.

    • My first husband was not/is not a sociopath. My second—I was not mentally healthy at the time–and I was the perfect target. Yes, they all have different traits and behaviors, and within the sociopath world there are sub-types. Mine was of the lying, covert, withholding, sneaky, scary, terrible ilk. Blessings to you for having made it out! Xoxoxo

  5. I have often tried to discern between schizophrenia and sociopathic behavior when I think of certain family members. I have kept a file of correspondences from these persons “just in case” I would ever need them. Oddly, I named the file “Broken Glass”. It has been difficult keeping to my decision of cutting all ties from them because I always had the “care giver” role while growing up and it had become second nature for me to watch over them; mostly because I feel lonely sometimes. It is also difficult because I feel the need to keep my past a secret and it often leaves a big hole in conversations when people ask even the simplest of questions: “Did you spend the holidays with family? Oh, no? Why not?” or “Oh, your family must be so proud etc. etc.” I am at a loss as to what to say and as a result, I tend to isolate myself. Actually, I am NOT lonely, just suddenly alone – my past completely erased – and that takes a bit of getting used to. I can see how the choices I have made as an adult were the result of the influences the “broken people” had over me. My now “ex” husband was not, in fact, the love of my life but what I now realize was the only escape from hell that presented itself to me at the time. I don’t regret any part of my past because I now realize that every situation – good and bad – has a lesson or a message and we are where we should be in our lives for a reason. The reason may not always be immediately clear but when it shows itself, I enjoy the bright light of realization. I remind myself that the past is in the past and I try to always live simply, drama free and in the moment. ā™„

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