I bet you all are thinking that I was going to tell you that I am gay, right? No, I am not going to tell you that, not that there is anything wrong with that, to quote Seinfeld. There is absolutely not, but I am talking about something entirely different here. I am talking about my face, which I have been hiding from you all using that worn out, stolen off Google images, avatar thing. As you will note, the avatar is gone. What you now see is the real me. Go ahead. Drink it in then shake off that stunned feeling! It is even a very recent picture from July of this year, not something from, say, 20 years ago, which was tempting because I have a real stunner from 20 years ago. This is the real face of OneHotMessage. Considering everything I have put it through, as well as the rest of my body, it has held up quite nicely. Perhaps all those years of drinking acted as a preservative and pickled me to some extent. I guess that makes it all well worth it, right? Saves on Botox, too, not that I would be inclined to use that unless I could afford it. I do not frown much anyway, so I would more go for some sort of lift, but I digress.
When I began this blog, I was hiding. I was not hiding from myself, but at the very first, I was hiding myself from family and friends. Could people accept the real, authentic me, if they knew who I was?? I was not entirely sure that they could… Then friends and family began to figure it out, which was an amusing period of time, I must say. Every day or so, I would get a message on Facebook from a friend, “Hey Annie!! Are you OneHotMessage?? I love you but I didn’t know it was you!!” Like that, over and over again, people were figuring it out, and people were more than okay with me as me. That left me hiding from my ex-husband and his family, most specifically, his current girlfriend. They are relentless. They found me months ago and have left many lovely, little calling cards which will never see the light of day, not on this page, anyway.
The other night, the one person I was hiding from went on a rampage all over Facebook-land while I slept. She went from one inspirational page to another to another to another posting rubbish about me, using my full, real name, and the name of my first husband. I like my first husband! He has been very good to me. We had me over last Thanksgiving when my little boy was with his father. He sends me Omaha Steak gift packs at Christmas. He even took in my little boy while I was in prison. If he has never said, “I am sorry for all of what I put you through during our marriage,” he really does not need to anymore. His actions speak way louder than words and I am good with that.
Anyway, a huge line had been crossed, and behavior I was ignoring could not be ignored anymore. Do not mess with my Facebook page owner peeps! Those peeps are my friends, and they had my back in a huge and amazing way, all while I slept. It is comforting to know that people all around the globe are looking out for me so that I can sleep soundly at night. I love my Facebook page owner peeps a lot! Don’t you dare be all up in their grill, or I might have to be all up in your grill….that’s probably a line from a movie, but it fits. So, I called the police, because Facebook could really care less if someone is stalking you and harassing you, and amazingly, the sheriff that I spoke with did care! And he did take some action! ” Wow”, I said to myself. Yes, I do talk to myself. You may as well know that about me, too.
After I got all the documentation to the police department, I was rather worn out, so I took the night off from thinking. Today, I turned my brain back on and a comment a friend had made to me kept ringing in my ears. At my age, that could be almost anything, so I dismissed until this evening, when it was quiet, and I could be certain it was not sudden onset damage from too much vacuuming. The comment was this, “See how much power you still give her, even though you ignore her?” Her, being the not-so-sweet-girlfriend. Yup. I see. I totally see that as clear as day now and I am not giving her another drop of my power, and baby, I ain’t hiding from anyone ever again! (Unless, it is like some deranged ax murder that pops out of the bushes down here, or some creditor from my less than stellar financial past. ) I have been to prison and survived! I am a prison chick now. Ain’t nobody gonna scare me off from being me, or showing my face anymore. Fo Shizzle, as one of my kids might say.
So, this is me and I love me. My name is Ann LeSuer. I am a real person who is well-loved by many and who is afraid of no one, except for the aforementioned collections people, but I really do not have much to fret over in that department now, either. Another friend told me yesterday that I need to show my sense of humor more on my blog. Apparently I am a riot. It is hard to be a riot and talk about really deep and serious issues, but I will give that a go, too. She said my sense of humor was “pure fold.” I had absolutely no idea what she was talking about until she corrected herself. “Pure gold,” she said. That is my life in a nutshell. Loving, caring, accepting, friends far and wide, family, God, everything. I have got the full meal deal and it is pure gold. Here I am now looking out at all of you with my own face, through my own 53-year-old eyes, and you are all pure gold, too!